Woman plays multiple roles in a lifetime, but being mom is kind of toughest responsibility. You can never be fully trained for being a mom because there is no manual for being a perfect mom. Besides all the surprises of motherhood, every mom tries to do their best for keeping their babies healthy and happy. There is a saying that: ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ but in today’s world no one have villages. Or you can say all the villagers come and go and at the end it’s just the mom who stays. Here, by villagers I meant everyone who loves your baby and they wish the best for your baby but they will not be always around for the baby. But yes even though they are not available they have many suggestions to give, they have problems with the way you raise your kid. Basically everyone is ready to Judge the Mom.
I am sure every mom has been judged by someone for how they are raising their kids. It could be about the food you make for the baby, the clothes you buy for them, your baby’s sleeping habits, your body weight and even your outings with the baby. I don’t know that the other person do this intentionally or they don’t even realize they just judged you for something that’s none of their business. But they do it anyway. We moms ignore these so called suggestions (which are more like a statement) but sometimes it’s difficult to deal with it. Especially when you feel alone in a group of experienced people. People try to explain that same thing happened with them . But don’t they know every child is different and so is every Mom. The way you dealt with your baby could be the best way. But maybe I am not comfortable with that way or I simply don’t want to do the same thing which you have done as a mom.
There is no one perfect way to be a good Mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family .
Elder M. Russell Ballard
Is it that difficult to not to judge others? Can’t we just lift each other up instead of poking each other? Oh she is in office she don’t have time for her kid. Oh she stays all the time with her kid, that’s why the kid is not social. Don’t judge a mom who left breastfeeding early so she could drink wine. May be she feels it was the right time for formula for her baby. Don’t judge a mom who breastfeeds her baby for years. May be she is struggling with switching her kid to formula and it’s not happening. Don’t judge a mom who stays with their kid all the time in a party or a mom who doesn’t even know where her kid is at a party. Don’t judge a mom for keeping her baby in diapers all the time, and don’t judge if a mom is happy to clean the dirty nappies by herself without using diapers. Just don’t judge!
We say things to others by pretending we care, but do we really care or we just have to say something as we think the other person is not handling it well. Or we think we are much more experienced and our methods are best so others should do the same? Whatever it is, it need to be stopped because it doesn’t do good for anyone. Till the time a mom actually asks you about your opinion, don’t give it!
Every mom has their own story. Like I have one simple story to share. I love watching movies and new moms usually don’t get that much time to go to a theater and spend hours watching a movie. My baby was 4 month old when one Indian movie released which I really wanted to watch on big screen. My husband asked me to go and told me he will take care of our girl. I went for the movie and when I was talking to my mom about it she said: Does watching a movie is more important than being with your baby? She didn’t ask it in some rude way but I still think is it a valid concern? I know she loves me and she loves her granddaughter, but still is it even a valid concern J
I wish we understand each other’s struggle and stop being judgmental. Everyone is doing their best and we don’t know what’s happening in other person’s life. So next time you meet a mom and thinks she is not doing it right, let it be and move on! She will learn it naturally because motherhood comes naturally and there is no tutorial for it.