Parenting is hard nut to crack but at the end we all want best for our kids. They always smile, remain happy, grow fast, behave well, get along with others and the list is long enough to cover this entire post. We try different strategies and method to make sure we are raising a healthy and happy kid but it is kind of never ending process. When we reach one milestone, another starts. There are many things which we do (at least I do) and somewhere in our mind we gets confused that we are pampering our child or spoiling them:
- Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy Attitude – In order to make kid do something, we often distract them or engage into some different activity. Sometimes we end up going for most easy distraction. For example my kid is not eating, let’s try you tube or my kid doesn’t want to sit in stroller, let’s carry him in my arms. Guess what, you made your kid to eat but you will be worrying about eyes all the time and the stroller will never be used again because who does not want to be kept in the arms of their mom dad. In short, we go for easy options but they back fire us in long run.
- Our child is too young to understand attitude – Another phrase that we parents most commonly use is ‘our baby is too young to understand’. My husband and I argue about this a lot. According to him my daughter understands what I am saying but she simply ignores it because she doesn’t want to do it. Sometimes I feel he is right because we don’t know what’s the right age for a toddler to start understanding things? And who defines that at what age, what they are going to understand? Toddlers are too tough to guess whether they do actually not understand what we are saying or they don’t want to understand.
- Giving Cheat Days to a toddler – Every parent faces situations where they are eating or drinking something which they don’t want their kids to eat or drink. But sometimes we feel like a little bit won’t harm. Like for example I was drinking soda once and I let my daughter had a sip of it. It’s been months now that I can’t drink soda in soda can in front of her because she knows what it is and she won’t accept no as an answer. So I think, why did I let her try it in the first place. There is nothing like ‘Just one time’ in case of those little human beings.
- Stubborn (We or Them) – We sometimes call our kids stubborn despite the fact that they might don’t know the meaning of that word. What I feel is sometimes it is difficult to guess whether they are stubborn or we are. For example: My daughter knows how to do shake hands, wave good bye etc. She shows me everything, but when I ask her to say good bye to someone else, she won’t respond. May be she don’t want to say bye to them or maybe she is actually being stubborn. But we keep on asking and asking them to do the same thing.And they keep on learning to say no. So Did I make her more stubborn ?
- We can’t see them crying at all – we love our kids so much that we can’t see them crying, especially when they are new born. For newborn’s crying is the only option as that’s all they can do. But when they start growing, we need to put a check on when it is ok for them to cry, but we don’t. Started crying in toy shop, here you go brand new toy. Started crying for TV, let them watch for some more time. What they have learnt is that crying is their way out of every situation and will use whenever possible.
Kids can’t be raised in a certain way. We adapt as per our own behavior and capacity to do things. I did all the above mentioned things and somewhere I think It is making me a bad parent or a good one. But then I know there is nothing like a bad or good parent. You just have to go with the flow. You may have other stories to share about your ways of pampering or spoiling your kid. Leave a comment if you are in same boat or have different methods.
You are right, there is no right or wrong way to raise a child. I figure as long as my children are polite and well mannered, then I am parenting right.
Rightly said jenni.
It’s SO HARD sometimes not to just do what’s easiest! This post resonates with me so much right now since I have a strong willed two and a half year old that tests me daily!
This is kind of toughest age I few . They gets stubborn for every thing. I so wish I can handle this age perfectly
All of these are so true! I never really thought much of it until you mentioned them all together!
Lol. Me too thought about all of this when I was writing it all 😊 but feels like important points for consideration
There have been numerous times as a parent that I have given into my children on one thing or another. I say whatever keeps your sanity. Ass long as it is not a constant or the same thing that you are constantly giving in to, then you should be good.
That’s a good point . We should break the constant stuff.
Hey Aradhana I totally agree with u….. We do spoil our kids habbit…. I remembered that time when vibhor doesn’t know how to speak I use to take him to toy shop and ask him to take any toy he wish…… now we scold them for the same and if we say no he starts crying and we have to buy toy for them
Haha that’s story of every parent . We try to show pamper them and it backfires in long term.
Nice blog…even I was so worried about spoiling my own son. Ofcourse, there’s nothing like a good or a bad parent.
Thanks Lena .
Well written AJ! I’m sure every parent can relate to this post and feels the same. Sometimes we wish to take things easy and sometimes its the kid who makes us go easy on them by merely smiling. Hope someday they’ll realise we are okay with pampering them and not okay with spoiling them 😀
So true. Their smile is enough for us to go easy and then we forget all about pampering or spoiling